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Wilmslow
5th February 2010, 12:22
A friend (my tenent) has a friend who is single, and looking for a bloke. All I know is that she is really sweet and 33, I am 36.

Good words have been said about me - however, I need to send a text to introduce me and suggest we meet up. (She is expecting a text from me).

Any ideas??

Wedding invites all round if this comes good.......

chef
5th February 2010, 12:25
Wilmsloooooooooow :suicide:

One of the best episodes yet to come I believe

AtW
5th February 2010, 12:25
any ideas??

Post her mobile here and CUK will take care of it...

EternalOptimist
5th February 2010, 12:27
Hi my name is Wilmslow

I want to get married. Will you marry me, only I have already sent the invites out and I dont want to look foolish.

About me - I am 36 and my hobbies are telling interesting stories and avoiding trouble.
I am not much good at either.



:rolleyes:

doodab
5th February 2010, 12:27
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeWAdzFmI10

thunderlizard
5th February 2010, 12:28
Just send her a link to your CUK profile.

Personally I would rather phone than text, then you can tell her where to go and what time to be there with none of that dollying to & fro.

oracleslave
5th February 2010, 12:28
im organising an orgy 4 me pals bday. wanna cum?

doodab
5th February 2010, 12:29
On a serious note, don't text, phone her. It will demonstrate that you aren't a socially awkward no mates who hides behind technology. Girls like that.

Pondlife
5th February 2010, 12:30
Hi desper8. i wnt 2 sex u up. r u up 4 it. i hve wee on my shoes

l8tr

thx wiilllmslooooow.

doodab
5th February 2010, 12:30
then you can tell her where to go

Down a bit down a bit oh yes that's it!

threaded
5th February 2010, 12:31
A friend (my tenent) has a friend who is single, and looking for a bloke. All I know is that she is really sweet and 33, I am 36.

Good words have been said about me - however, I need to send a text to introduce me and suggest we meet up. (She is expecting a text from me).

Any ideas??

Wedding invites all round if this comes good.......

A common con YLs do:

1) Find a 'mark': single, has apartment. Rent apartment.

2) Introduce to friend.

3) Encourage relationship.

4) Friend has to move because of annoying ex.

5) Friend moves in with tenant.

6) Tenant stops paying rent.

7) When you start getting annoying about unpaid rent, ex re-appears...

HTH

Gawd these B2L fall for all the old tricks.

:alien

Moscow Mule
5th February 2010, 12:34
Hi <insert girls name>, it's Wilmslow here. <mutual friend> suggested we should meet up, but I reckon it's a non-starter as I'm such a loser I have to get advice from an IT contractors forum about talking to girls. Sorry.

AtW
5th February 2010, 12:34
Hi desper8. i wnt 2 sex u up. r u up 4 it. i hve wee on my shoes

l8tr

thx wiilllmslooooow.

:rollin:

AtW
5th February 2010, 12:35
Hi <insert girls name>, it's Wilmslow here. <mutual friend> suggested we should meet up, but I reckon it's a non-starter as I'm such a loser I have to get advice from an IT contractors forum about talking to girls. Sorry.

Quiet a loser - this text is too long to fit into single SMS!!!

chef
5th February 2010, 12:35
send her a text message saying

"Finally after years of blowing up my date each night I've been told by <friends name> about you, I've been thinking about you all day and would love it if you came round to my house so I can cook you a meal, watch a movie and maybe we can talk about when you can move in? Some people say I'm forward but I just can't stop thinking about you, I think I might be in love. Wilmslow"

it'll work like a charm, trust me

Moscow Mule
5th February 2010, 12:37
Quiet a loser - this text is too long to fit into single SMS!!!

Good job the UK has had EMS for over 5 years now...

AtW
5th February 2010, 12:37
Good job the UK has had EMS for over 5 years now...

He is not in the UK mate, he is in imaginery fantasy of a country. :wink

fullyautomatix
5th February 2010, 12:39
Text messages are generally bad. Sometimes the missus finds out what you are upto if you forget to erase the messages.

chef
5th February 2010, 12:45
get some inspiration from here

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com (http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/texts/page:1)

DiscoStu
5th February 2010, 12:51
Hi my name is Wilmslow

I want to get married. Will you marry me, only I have already sent the invites out and I dont want to look foolish.

About me - I am 36 and my hobbies are telling interesting stories and avoiding trouble.
I am not much good at either.



:rolleyes:


im organising an orgy 4 me pals bday. wanna cum?


Hi desper8. i wnt 2 sex u up. r u up 4 it. i hve wee on my shoes

l8tr

thx wiilllmslooooow.


Hi <insert girls name>, it's Wilmslow here. <mutual friend> suggested we should meet up, but I reckon it's a non-starter as I'm such a loser I have to get advice from an IT contractors forum about talking to girls. Sorry.


send her a text message saying

"Finally after years of blowing up my date each night I've been told by <friends name> about you, I've been thinking about you all day and would love it if you came round to my house so I can cook you a meal, watch a movie and maybe we can talk about when you can move in? Some people say I'm forward but I just can't stop thinking about you, I think I might be in love. Wilmslow"

it'll work like a charm, trust me

:laugh Top work gentlemen :yay:

northernladuk
5th February 2010, 13:06
LOL beautiful thread!!

Not sure if I will look like a real muppet actually posting a serious reponse but in reply to whoever that said ring her I disagree. Text her saying you want to chat when would she be available. She will appreciate your politeness rather than just ringing her right in the middle of shaving her chest hairs.

doodab
5th February 2010, 13:10
"don't forget to mow the lawn"

Bagpuss
5th February 2010, 13:12
"Hi , I'm a great guy just ask my neighbours, wanna fabricate some dilemas?"



alternatively: You could drop the sockpuppet and get a life

AtW
5th February 2010, 13:14
alternatively: You could drop the sockpuppet and get a life

Don't drop Wilmslow! :tantrum:

He is very sensitive and may break apart...

OwlHoot
5th February 2010, 13:15
A friend (my tenent) has a friend who is single, and looking for a bloke. All I know is that she is really sweet and 33, I am 36.

Good words have been said about me - however, I need to send a text to introduce me and suggest we meet up. (She is expecting a text from me).

Any ideas??

Wedding invites all round if this comes good.......

Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned to doubt it, but is a text message out of the blue really the best way to introduce yourself?

Why not ask your tenant to invite her round one evening? Also, ask him/her about the friend's hobbies, and frantically mug up on them so you can show some knowledge and even claim to share them.

Churchill
5th February 2010, 13:20
"Hello Dave?" "You're my wife now!"

Short and to the point!

MaryPoppins
5th February 2010, 13:33
LOL beautiful thread!!

Not sure if I will look like a real muppet actually posting a serious reponse but in reply to whoever that said ring her I disagree. Text her saying you want to chat when would she be available. She will appreciate your politeness rather than just ringing her right in the middle of shaving her chest hairs.

Agreed.*

*Not about the chest hairs bit, she should be plucking those.

A phone call out of the blue would freak me out. Poor Wilmslow.

norrahe
5th February 2010, 13:34
Ask her if you can show her how to bleed radiators.

AtW
5th February 2010, 13:37
A phone call out of the blue would freak me out. Poor Wilmslow.

Especially if he uses this horror movie style voice transformer box whilst talking on the phone...

Churchill
5th February 2010, 13:39
Real text sent by Wilmslow to "date"...



Hhhhellloooo, I'm nnnnot vvery gggooodd attt thiisss kiiiiind ooooff thiiinng buuutt iiii liiiiike you and woullllld like toooo mayyybe goooo outt with you ssssooommmme tiiiime... wwwhhat ddoo youu thinkkkk? (No mother, I'm not fondling myself again!) Buuugggerit, dddiiid I sseennd ttthat?

EternalOptimist
5th February 2010, 13:50
Dear friend of a friend. Texting you because friend said we might get on. I'm shy but taking hints off my pals at CUK,so here goes .....Can I buy your virginity for five thousand quid ?





:rolleyes:

mr_woo
5th February 2010, 14:08
Offer to take her for a meal on condition she puts up the goodies at the end of the night.

DiscoStu
5th February 2010, 14:12
Agreed.*

*Not about the chest hairs bit, she should be plucking those.

A phone call out of the blue would freak me out. Poor Wilmslow.

:spel girl

BA to the Stars
5th February 2010, 14:13
Dear friend of a friend. Texting you because friend said we might get on. I'm shy but taking hints off my pals at CUK,so here goes .....you can have my virginity for free





:rolleyes:

FTFY

Churchill
4th March 2011, 07:37
A friend (my tenent) has a friend who is single, and looking for a bloke. All I know is that she is really sweet and 33, I am 36.

Good words have been said about me - however, I need to send a text to introduce me and suggest we meet up. (She is expecting a text from me).

Any ideas??

Wedding invites all round if this comes good.......

So, I take it you you didn't hit it off?

Wilmslow
4th March 2011, 07:41
So, I take it you you didn't hit it off?

Did you not get the Christening invite?

Actually gone back to internet dating though, and getting on very well with a nice sounding local lass with similar interests, including Body Combat and Body Pump! Last night she actually suggested to me that we should meet up as soon as we are both free, which is pretty good going.

Watch this space.....

amcdonald
4th March 2011, 07:56
Did you not get the Christening invite?

Actually gone back to internet dating though, and getting on very well with a nice sounding local ladyboy with similar interests, including Body Odour and Body Pumping! Last night she actually suggested to me that we should meet up as soon as we are both free, which is pretty good going.

Watch this space.....

FTFY

SueEllen
4th March 2011, 08:05
Did you not get the Christening invite?

Actually gone back to internet dating though, and getting on very well with a nice sounding local lass with similar interests, including Body Combat and Body Pump! Last night she actually suggested to me that we should meet up as soon as we are both free, which is pretty good going.

Watch this space.....

A guy doing Body Combat is freaky. I always ask myself why isn't he doing a proper Martial Art?

MaryPoppins
4th March 2011, 08:13
A guy doing Body Combat is freaky. I always ask myself why isn't he doing a proper Martial Art?

It really is though, I agree. Although I think you may have higher standards than me, as I'd always ask myself; why isn't he in the pub?

Churchill
4th March 2011, 08:13
A guy doing Body Combat is freaky. I always ask myself why isn't he doing a proper Martial Art?


It really is though, I agree. Although I think you may have higher standards than me, as I'd always ask myself; why isn't he in the pub?



Because he's Wiiillllmslowwwww!
<canned laughter>

Wilmslow
4th March 2011, 08:14
A guy doing Body Combat is freaky. I always ask myself why isn't he doing a proper Martial Art?

Not as freaky as the Track 7 of an older Body attack which had a samba track - something very freaky about that one!!

Sockpuppet
4th March 2011, 09:47
I see a documentary series coming on here.

Wilmslow book a chapel for 5 years time then write a book about how you spend next five years trying to find someone to fill it with you.

SallyAnne
4th March 2011, 10:06
A friend (my tenent) has a friend who is single, and looking for a bloke. All I know is that she is really sweet and 33, I am 36.

Good words have been said about me - however, I need to send a text to introduce me and suggest we meet up. (She is expecting a text from me).

Any ideas??

Wedding invites all round if this comes good.......



Ah you are sooooooooooooo El Duder!! :wave:

SueEllen
4th March 2011, 10:10
I see a documentary series coming on here.

Wilmslow book a chapel for 5 years time then write a book about how you spend next five years trying to find someone to fill it with you.

A Plan B that may just work...................

Though there are loads of free eBooks so people won't read it if it's over £3 including VAT.

vetran
4th March 2011, 11:04
No mention of the OXO tower, its not a dating thread without it?

Old Greg
4th March 2011, 11:07
No mention of the OXO tower, its not a dating thread without it?

Bit classy for Wilmsow.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3353/3207034244_ff4b3f49ac.jpg

StopTheEarthIwantToGetOff
4th March 2011, 11:27
Really people!
How can you be so cruel? Poor old Wilmslow has put his possible future in your hands and how do approach this most sacred task? With derision and scorn!
Now Wilmslow old chap. Approach this filly with a decisive and can-do attitude!

Ask what her specials menu is and insist on action up-front! Oh and no talking or looking at you as it puts you off.

HTH

d000hg
4th March 2011, 11:56
Good words have been said about meThey have?

TinTrump
4th March 2011, 12:34
...Body Combat...
:confused: I could search for it online but would prefer the humorous (?) answer I'll get here. What the hell form of exercise is that?

d000hg
4th March 2011, 12:44
:confused: I could search for it online but would prefer the humorous (?) answer I'll get here. What the hell form of exercise is that?An attempt to make "aerobics" sound less gay.

milanbenes
4th March 2011, 12:52
A friend (my tenent) has a friend who is single, and looking for a bloke. All I know is that she is really sweet and 33, I am 36.

Good words have been said about me - however, I need to send a text to introduce me and suggest we meet up. (She is expecting a text from me).

Any ideas??

Wedding invites all round if this comes good.......



I don't know who the genius is behind Wilmslooooooooooooooow, who thinks this sh!t up and creates these fantastic story lines from nothing, but whoever it is, good job :yay:


Milan.

Old Greg
4th March 2011, 12:57
I don't know who the genius is behind Wilmslooooooooooooooow, who thinks this sh!t up and creates these fantastic story lines from nothing, but whoever it is, good job :yay:


Milan.

I like to think it is the same creative genius that was behind el duder.

Alf W
4th March 2011, 13:05
Female 33 single. That's not a good start. Ask yourself why? You may get lucky and get an OK one who has been widowed but other than that it's probably going to be trouble / damaged goods / right psycho / looks like a toad.

'Sweet' - think we've solved it. That's code for 'Chubby'.

Still I suppose beggars can't be choosers.

MaryPoppins
4th March 2011, 13:11
Female 33 single. That's not a good start. Ask yourself why? You may get lucky and get an OK one who has been widowed but other than that it's probably going to be trouble / damaged goods / right psycho / looks like a toad.



:laugh

(I'm 31 so that totally doesn't include me)

SueEllen
4th March 2011, 13:50
:laugh

(I'm 31 so that totally doesn't include me)

Yeah but you are psycho. :tongue



[Be nice it's my birthday tomorrow and I'm going on a Hen Do]

MaryPoppins
4th March 2011, 13:55
Yeah but you are psycho. :tongue


[Be nice it's my birthday tomorrow and I'm going on a Hen Do]

Be nice? Pah.

You....you......are probably right.

Pogle
4th March 2011, 14:42
It really is though, I agree. Although I think you may have higher standards than me, as I'd always ask myself; why isn't he in the pub?

Yep, I'm with you on that, any bloke who 'goes to the gym' is either gay or up himself :D

AtW
4th March 2011, 14:48
Hi my name is Wilmslow

I want to get married. Will you marry me, only I have already sent the invites out and I dont want to look foolish.

About me - I am 36 and my hobbies are telling interesting stories and avoiding trouble.
I am not much good at either.



:rolleyes:

:eek

So it's true then - EO is Wilmslow!

AtW
4th March 2011, 14:49
im organising an orgy 4 me pals bday. wanna cum?

:laugh

AtW
4th March 2011, 14:50
Hi desper8. i wnt 2 sex u up. r u up 4 it. i hve wee on my shoes

l8tr

thx wiilllmslooooow.


:rollin:

d000hg
4th March 2011, 15:03
Female 33 single. That's not a good start.You think Wilmslow should be eyeing you the 20-somethings? Well I am sure he does eye them up... but why would they want to go out with a middle-aged IT worker?

amcdonald
4th March 2011, 15:08
Yep, I'm with you on that, any bloke who 'goes to the gym' is either gay or someones up him :D

FTFY

Sockpuppet
4th March 2011, 15:19
Female 33 single. That's not a good start. Ask yourself why? You may get lucky and get an OK one who has been widowed but other than that it's probably going to be trouble / damaged goods / right psycho / looks like a toad.

Reminds me of GSP. Who said after meeting me and one of my mates in a bar the night before.... "You know your friend....well I'm thinking now I shouldn't have jumped into bed with him on the first night".

AtW
4th March 2011, 15:21
This thread should be sticky really - classic CUK thread that should be preserved for future generations.

Churchill
4th March 2011, 15:23
Yep, I'm with you on that, any bloke who 'goes to the gym' is either gay or up himself :D

***** off! I go to the gym 4 nights a week. I'm not up myself and I'm certainly not gay.

cailin maith
4th March 2011, 15:31
Yep, I'm with you on that, any bloke who 'goes to the gym' is either gay or up himself :D

:laugh Now you have done it.


***** off! I go to the gym 4 nights a week. I'm not up myself and I'm certainly not gay.

I knew you'd spot that! :laugh

amcdonald
4th March 2011, 16:13
***** off! I go to the gym 4 nights a week. I'm not up myself and I'm certainly not gay.

Oooh I think you protest too much, in fact I think I've found evidence of Churchill at a gym workout...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI

d000hg
4th March 2011, 17:57
***** off! I go to the gym 4 nights a week. I'm not up myself and I'm certainly not gay.Repressed homosexuality aside for a moment, you really expect us to believe that? :rollin:

MarillionFan
4th March 2011, 18:26
***** off! I go to the gym 4 nights a week. I'm not up myself and I'm certainly not gay.

Looking good Churchy.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS0xh9NDEAcVlCXXS2HYVtpSv88WeRik vYYN1YdsZMrl7wOCibXew&t=1

Old Greg
4th March 2011, 19:14
Repressed homosexuality aside for a moment, you really expect us to believe that? :rollin:

Churchy and shaunbhoy can have a mutual support thread. You never know. They may find more than support.

AtW
4th March 2011, 20:05
Churchy and shaunbhoy can have a mutual support thread. You never know. They may find more than support.

A group of Rangers' supporters leader by Incognito? :devil

Old Greg
4th March 2011, 20:09
A group of Rangers' supporters leader by Incognito? :devil

Sounds like a sub-set of repressed homosexuals to me. They probably lack the confidence to actually start the thread.

AtW
4th March 2011, 20:41
They probably lack the confidence to actually start the thread.

They can start a fight though? :eyes

SallyAnne
5th March 2011, 13:24
Ah you are sooooooooooooo El Duder!! :wave:


I like to think it is the same creative genius that was behind el duder.

Is there an echo in here? here? here? :wink