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View Full Version : "We don't develop contractors"



minestrone
5th October 2010, 10:47
All I wanted was to look at a GWT book on their intranet.

Angry permies.

Mich the Tester
5th October 2010, 10:48
If you want to know about Great Western Trains I'm sure the Gricer can help.

MarillionFan
5th October 2010, 10:53
All I wanted was to look at a GWT book on their intranet.

Angry permies.

I always feel bad about leafing through manuals when contracting. I tend to duck off and sit in the can with a book if I need to look
something up.

milanbenes
5th October 2010, 10:58
the first job of any experienced contractor when starting a new assignment is to find all the doco and put it in a safe place

Milan.

Pondlife
5th October 2010, 11:01
the first job of any experienced contractor when starting a new assignment is to make sure your client PC can read/write USB sticks.


FTFY

thunderlizard
5th October 2010, 11:03
Girls With Tractors?

Spoilsports.

Bunk
5th October 2010, 11:03
Yep, part of the contractor's survival guide is a USB stick full of PDF's and e-books. Then you don't have to bother about the whingers.

Pogle
5th October 2010, 11:05
All I wanted was to look at a GWT book on their intranet.

Angry permies.
:rollin:
I bet they love you

milanbenes
5th October 2010, 11:11
FTFY


thanks mate

there's a always a warm sense of satisfaction when starting a new assignment as soon as you find the location of the knowledge warehouse

and

especially if they have a more uptodate collection than the previous assignment


Bunk,

agreed



Milan.

doodab
5th October 2010, 11:19
Join the ACM. You get safari and books 24x7 for your $99 a year as well as online courses and a nice magazine.

SupremeSpod
5th October 2010, 11:57
Join the ACM. You get safari and books 24x7 for your $99 a year as well as online courses and a nice magazine.

Does the aforementioned magazine contain pictures of the lovely Monica?

minestrone
5th October 2010, 12:28
USB sticks will not read on these machines, the Google site is banned by the proxy server and you cannot look at online PDFs.

Don't really care to be honest, it's just the way they hire you for top dollar and then hinder your work.

Mich the Tester
5th October 2010, 12:36
Don't really care to be honest, it's just the way they hire you for top dollar and then hinder your work.

Life could be worse; you could be a permie or a bob, hired for bottom dollar and then hindered in doing your work.

doodab
5th October 2010, 12:49
You could get a kindle or somesuch.

milanbenes
5th October 2010, 12:49
quite,

hinderences are great and put food on the table

if the current client didn't have such very well designed processes and procedures for everything from ordering a pencil sharpner to opening a firewall port i'd have been out of
here years ago

more of it I say

Milan.

matzie
5th October 2010, 12:51
Join the ACM. You get safari and books 24x7 for your $99 a year as well as online courses and a nice magazine.

Thanks! Never heard of them before, but this looks like a great deal. Although it seems you need to pay $99 for membership and another $99 for library access - but it still seems cheap for what you get.

Mich the Tester
5th October 2010, 12:54
quite,

hinderences are great and put food on the table

if the current client didn't have such very well designed processes and procedures for everything from ordering a pencil sharpner to opening a firewall port i'd have been out of
here years ago

more of it I say

Milan.
Yep. Although I harbour a suspicion that ISO 9001 is actually a KGB plot to destroy capitalism from within.

Pondlife
5th October 2010, 13:06
Yep. Although I harbour a suspicion that ISO 9001 is actually a KGB plot to destroy capitalism from within.

I reckon those chaps Sarbanes and Oxley were on the payroll too.

doodab
5th October 2010, 13:09
Thanks! Never heard of them before, but this looks like a great deal. Although it seems you need to pay $99 for membership and another $99 for library access - but it still seems cheap for what you get.

Safari, Books 24x7 & the courses are included in the basic membership. The digital library access is an extra thing that allows access to the full text of all their journals, magazines, conference proceedings and so on. There is a lot of stuff in there.

Saddo
5th October 2010, 13:25
Yep, part of the contractor's survival guide is a USB stick full of PDF's and e-books. Then you don't have to bother about the whingers.

Well you wouldn't survive very long in the defence industry. USB sticks, laptops, cameras etc have a tendency to be banned. There is a certain well-known software defence contractor that lost a USB stick in a pub car park and also managed to lose a hard drive containing zillions of unencrypted personal details. And you get frisked and scanned going in and out of their place. You get caught putting a USB stick anywhere near their PC's and it's a hand on the collar and frog-march out the door by a security guard.

Oddly enough you can take your mobile phone in, and these days mobile phones have cameras (and even storage) built in. So you could feasibly get away with a smartphone which has PDF file support (totally unusable but there you go). But don't get caught snapping piccies with your phone or the security guard comes out of the cupboard and takes you to the nearest exit.

And I think it also implies that your security clearance is black-flagged, meaning you've just lost an income stream.

Saddo
5th October 2010, 13:30
Yep. Although I harbour a suspicion that ISO 9001 is actually a KGB plot to destroy capitalism from within.

Now why didn't I think of that? Rusky agents trained to repeat the message "say what you do, do what you say" endlessly. Probably cheaper and easier than supplying and using argon lamps.

Paddy
5th October 2010, 13:33
USB sticks will not read on these machines, the Google site is banned by the proxy server and you cannot look at online PDFs.

Don't really care to be honest, it's just the way they hire you for top dollar and then hinder your work.

SD Cards? VPN? Logmein.com?

MarillionFan
5th October 2010, 14:21
You have to love people and processes that hinder and slow you up.

First thing when you hit the ground is get as much system access and find as much documentation.

On my second day, the PM cut my access to the shared folders and stated I didn't need access to the database or application for the software they wanted to create a datawarehouse for!

Six weeks down the line, he asks me if it has conformed dimensions with the other datawarehouse and how quickly the dimensions will change based on the source system!!!

Funnily I got access the next day.

Mich the Tester
5th October 2010, 14:25
You have to love people and processes that hinder and slow you up.

First thing when you hit the ground is get as much system access and find as much documentation.

On my second day, the PM cut my access to blablabla

You mean you had access to stuff on your second day of invoicing?

You incompetent little man; you should be able to stretch it out to at least 2 weeks before you can do anything other than use your own mobile internet for CUK and pron.