When Tom Hanks' character in the Green Mile got a urinary track infection...

[minestrone]

...I thought he must have overplayed it. "nothing can be as sore as that, it is just an infection"

Tom, you deserve those Oscars.

Had a bit of a sore lower tum since I came back from Bali where I had a few days of the squirts and a few burning pees. Things came to a head tonight when I went out for a quick beer in the pub. Went off for a quick wizz.

Thank God nobody was in or came in when I was at the toilet, it's not a good thing to be at a rough Glasgow pub urinal with the knees half bent, quivering, face you should only keep for the bedroom, mumbling in a high pitch "oh Jesus, oh Jesus".

A sanded pipe cleaner and a vinegar piss come to mind.

Got up the road and the girly asked me to pee on a stick. Urinary track infection diagnosed, straight on antibiotics.

Put me off my beer now.

[Doggy Styles]

We used to call that NSU. I hope she was worth it!

[MrMark]

You're lucky they no longer do the umbrella test.

[darmstadt]

Lucky she didn't stick something resembling a miniature cocktail unbrella down it, then opened it up and pulled it out slowly. Then you'll know pain

[TimberWolf]

Are there a lot of nerves in the urethra? Imagine how sensitive they must be to pick up the sensation of a bit of grit flowing under high pressure or whatever it is.

[minestrone]

Apparently the 'stick' test for everything.

No blood in the pee, just some 'chemical/bacteria' or something that indicates infection.

IF I have another infection in 3 months it "into the bladder with a pipe time"

I just said, 'it cant be worse than that pee'.

Total agony

On a weeks worth of Trimethoprim, which she just had in her bag?!

[Doggy Styles]

...IF I have another infection in 3 months it "into the bladder with a pipe time"

I just said, 'it cant be worse than that pee'.

Total agony

Yes it can.

[minestrone]

Yes it can.

These pills better work.

Just had another burner.

I bought 16 beers tonight for the cricket. I'm going to open one now, I could be in for an uncomfortable night, much like the English.

[shaunbhoy]

Put me off my beer now.

Put me off mine too!!!!!

[EternalOptimist]

My brother used to fill a pint glass with crushed ice and stick his todger in it for 20 minutes before going wee wees