Following my recent unhappy involvement in a youth rail organization which now considers me persona non grata, I decided it was time to renew my Rotarian quest by inviting a local luminary of said august institution to "a soiree of epicurean delights, learned discourse and cerebral activities".
Fred Bloggs duly accepted and came accompanied by his charming wife, Lettuce. Following Malc's past form in derailing my prospects of becoming a member, I decreed that his role in the evening's proceedings would be relegated to cameos at the serving hatch to profer voule-au-vents at appropriate junctures. Indeed, my chosen partner for the evening was none other than Cuth Blenkinsop, thankfully fully recovered from his horrific flailing incident at Crewe Station.
Proceedings were initiated by each of us rising in turn and reciting a verse of poetry. We heard Jests, Byron and Coleridge while I chose the words of Baroness D'Orsay. We all then enjoyed an egg flip "ice breaker" and got to know each other a bit better.
Fred, it turns out, is a leading light in the Somerset Amateur Tribologists Society and, as such, is a veritable goldmine of fascinating information on the subject matter that serves as grist to his mill; to wit, the science and engineering of interacting surfaces in relative motion. Indeed, it was particularly fascinating to learn how the relative distribution of railway ballast was altered upon the introduction of continuous rail owing to the resultant change in net downward forces.
Unfortunately, at one point, I had to quickly snap the serving hatch shut to render inaudible Malc's tittering at Fred's pontifications on the sliding coefficient of friction between lubricated surfaces.
Moving in to the gameplay, the outstanding highlight of the evening is set out below:
Slow and Dirty. Ermine and Pearls
S 632 S KQ94
H 6 H AJ842
D AQ987 D2
C Q762 CK54
Encan
E&P 1H, S&D 1NT, E&P pass
Demonstrating Rotarian leadership, I overruled Cuth's 2D and opted for 1NP which proved to be the best contract.
Refreshed by the victory, we sat and nibbled on Malc's dainties while the conversation turned to the beer washed gourmet cheeses of Northern France (at which point, had he been present, Malc would have mentioned some processed abomination such as Port Salut, being the vulgarian he is).
Prior to bidding our farewells we congratulated each other on what a wizard evening it had been and Fred insinuated that my name was likely to be increasingly bandied about in Rotarian circles forthwith. What can I say? Watch this space! I know the whole of CUK is rooting for me
Modded, just in case Fred is a real person...
Fred Bloggs duly accepted and came accompanied by his charming wife, Lettuce. Following Malc's past form in derailing my prospects of becoming a member, I decreed that his role in the evening's proceedings would be relegated to cameos at the serving hatch to profer voule-au-vents at appropriate junctures. Indeed, my chosen partner for the evening was none other than Cuth Blenkinsop, thankfully fully recovered from his horrific flailing incident at Crewe Station.
Proceedings were initiated by each of us rising in turn and reciting a verse of poetry. We heard Jests, Byron and Coleridge while I chose the words of Baroness D'Orsay. We all then enjoyed an egg flip "ice breaker" and got to know each other a bit better.
Fred, it turns out, is a leading light in the Somerset Amateur Tribologists Society and, as such, is a veritable goldmine of fascinating information on the subject matter that serves as grist to his mill; to wit, the science and engineering of interacting surfaces in relative motion. Indeed, it was particularly fascinating to learn how the relative distribution of railway ballast was altered upon the introduction of continuous rail owing to the resultant change in net downward forces.
Unfortunately, at one point, I had to quickly snap the serving hatch shut to render inaudible Malc's tittering at Fred's pontifications on the sliding coefficient of friction between lubricated surfaces.
Moving in to the gameplay, the outstanding highlight of the evening is set out below:
Slow and Dirty. Ermine and Pearls
S 632 S KQ94
H 6 H AJ842
D AQ987 D2
C Q762 CK54
Encan
E&P 1H, S&D 1NT, E&P pass
Demonstrating Rotarian leadership, I overruled Cuth's 2D and opted for 1NP which proved to be the best contract.
Refreshed by the victory, we sat and nibbled on Malc's dainties while the conversation turned to the beer washed gourmet cheeses of Northern France (at which point, had he been present, Malc would have mentioned some processed abomination such as Port Salut, being the vulgarian he is).
Prior to bidding our farewells we congratulated each other on what a wizard evening it had been and Fred insinuated that my name was likely to be increasingly bandied about in Rotarian circles forthwith. What can I say? Watch this space! I know the whole of CUK is rooting for me
Modded, just in case Fred is a real person...
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