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portseven
4th March 2011, 13:24
Pervert caught pleasuring himself in slurry for third time (From Mid Devon Star) (http://www.middevonstar.co.uk/news/devon_news/8885350.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurr y_for_third_time/)

It takes all sorts....

amcdonald
4th March 2011, 13:26
He should have stuck to worrying sheep then the locals won't have noticed anything unusual

DimPrawn
4th March 2011, 13:26
40 something, lives in Devon, rather odd person.

Sounds familiar.

SB are you away for while?

:laugh

MaryPoppins
4th March 2011, 13:28
I don't even want to open that link.

Jeez.

Oi, DP - I've been bigging you up over on another thread, without even a thank you. :frown

DimPrawn
4th March 2011, 13:31
I don't even want to open that link.

Jeez.

Oi, DP - I've been bigging you up over on another thread, without even a thank you. :frown

No, need, I can hold my own.

TimberWolf
4th March 2011, 13:56
Did anyone see "Famous, Rich And In The Slums With Comic Relief" last night, BBC1? He'd be in his element there, nothing comical about the place though IMO. Isn't comic relief meant to be funny?

portseven
4th March 2011, 14:00
No, need, I can hold my own.

As did the pervert in Devon

MaryPoppins
4th March 2011, 14:03
Did anyone see "Famous, Rich And In The Slums With Comic Relief" last night, BBC1? He'd be in his element there, nothing comical about the place though IMO. Isn't comic relief meant to be funny?

I saw that, turned off when they were leaving the slums as it made me cry. I felt cheated too, thought it might be a giggle.

amcdonald
4th March 2011, 14:06
Comic Relief, that would be Wilmslow and his real doll presumably

xoggoth
4th March 2011, 14:14
That sounds very cheap, I might give it a try.

Pogle
4th March 2011, 14:33
Is there no end to places blokes will shove their dicks? :laugh

xoggoth
4th March 2011, 16:31
No need to take a cow pat out for an expensive meal and tell it how lovely it looks in that dress before you can get anywhere.

Apart from sexy, cow pats can be very artistic. I took this picture of a bit of cowpat on a turnstyle last year. Looks just like Munch "The scream!

http://www.xoggoth.org/images/scream.jpg

amcdonald
4th March 2011, 16:37
Is there no end to places blokes will shove their dicks? :laugh

Cherie Blair ?

xoggoth
4th March 2011, 16:53
Is there no end to places blokes will shove their dicks?

It isn't just us blokes you know. What about women getting orgasms from space aliens? Rabbits were bad enough.

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/bromley/8890757.BROMLEY__MoD_evidence_suggests_orgasmic_al iens_are_already_here/

wobbegong
4th March 2011, 18:23
How does someone find out that rolling in slurry turns them on, in the first place. Do you find your self with a boner while walking past the milking shed? Do you experience 'stirrings' when rambling past the herd? Think 'Hello I quite fancy rolling around in that and knocking one out, phwoarrrrr' ?

Care in the community, eh?

Old Greg
4th March 2011, 19:20
Mmm slurry. I prefer it proper dirty with an intensively farmed product, and in any case those free range filth f*ckers look down their filthy snouts at the rest of us.

MaryPoppins
4th March 2011, 19:24
I saw that, turned off when they were leaving the slums as it made me cry. I felt cheated too, thought it might be a giggle.

Whoever negged me for this - oi! I wasn't trying to be funny, you bellend.

TimberWolf
4th March 2011, 19:34
Whoever negged me for this - oi! I wasn't trying to be funny, you bellend.

I'm feeling like a royal suspect, but it wasn't me.

AtW
4th March 2011, 20:39
Cherie Blair ?

http://www.akirathedon.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Car-Bernstein-CherieBlair.jpg

:sick

EternalOptimist
4th March 2011, 21:34
Is there no end to places blokes will shove their dicks? :laugh

It's a fair point

but I have always thought that women were just blokes with t1ts, so I am guessing that they have their fair share of strange stories.


In fact - I seem to recall an IT bird known as the 'door humper' who was videoed and it made the rounds. not quite the same as sh@gging a cow turd I agree, but then again, you'd never catch ME knobbing a door



:rolleyes:

portseven
4th March 2011, 21:42
Is there no end to places blokes will shove their dicks? :laugh


Women are just as bad, I remember a bunch of girls at school, that had a thing about mars bars and inserting them in various orifices

Old Greg
4th March 2011, 22:13
Women are just as bad, I remember a bunch of girls at school, that had a thing about mars bars and inserting them in various orifices

I seem to remember that was just your mum.

amcdonald
5th March 2011, 00:09
Women are just as bad, I remember a bunch of girls at school, that had a thing about mars bars and inserting them in various orifices

I went through a phase of inserting chocolate bars only to find milky bar buttons worked best, the women didnt complain either

PRC1964
5th March 2011, 00:24
Is there no end to places blokes will shove their dicks? :laugh
As is often the case, Ian Dury shows that girls can be just as mucky



You should never hold a candle,
If you don't know where it's been,
The jackpot is in the handle,
on a normal fruit machine.

d000hg
5th March 2011, 00:42
Just for accuracy it was Cornwall not Devon... not even near the border. The clues are found in reading the article. Presumably Devon had no news of their own and wanted to steal Cornwall's. So SB is off the hook.

OwlHoot
5th March 2011, 10:58
Women are just as bad, I remember a bunch of girls at school, that had a thing about mars bars and inserting them in various orifices

Mars bars? That's nothing - In Thailand they can blow smoke rings. :D

I've long since learned not to be surprised at all the unaccountably weird things that turn some people on.

amcdonald
5th March 2011, 11:11
Mars bars? That's nothing - In Thailand they can blow smoke rings. :D

I've long since learned not to be surprised at all the unaccountably weird things that turn some people on.

How about naked women sitting and farting on giant birthday cakes

Now that's just weird

EternalOptimist
5th March 2011, 12:31
How about naked women sitting and farting on giant birthday cakes

Now that's just weird

I did know one lady, rather large, who liked DP but not bum type stuff. i.e. two widgers up the main alley, one from the front and the other from behind. The best bit......
.....
she would only do it in a tent. Welsh bird.


mind you, credit where it's due, she could suck a tennis ball through a hose pipe.




:rolleyes:

Wilmslow
7th March 2011, 10:13
What would be your wildest fantasy then peeps?

I will tell you mine if you tell me yours........

SallyAnne
7th March 2011, 10:23
Pervert caught pleasuring himself in slurry for third time (From Mid Devon Star) (http://www.middevonstar.co.uk/news/devon_news/8885350.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurr y_for_third_time/)

It takes all sorts....

" man found naked in a field amongst cow dung and mud had been sexually pleasuring himself, a court has heard. "


Why is it worse that he was pleasuring himself? Surely the wierd bit was that he was found naked in a field playing amongst the cow dung? :eek

I think the fact that he was pleasuring himself makes this a *little* more acceptable? :laugh

portseven
7th March 2011, 14:19
Worked for a retailer a few years ago, and having a chat with the Loss Prevention boys one day, they get to see footage from the stores, particularly the stuff that warrants further investigation.

There was one chap that they caught on camera that would go into the stock room, nick a load of cheap chocolate they were selling at the time, and gorge himself on the chocolate, and immediately following would 'pleasure himself'

Now't as queer as folk...

Mich the Tester
7th March 2011, 14:21
Pervert caught pleasuring himself in slurry for third time (From Mid Devon Star) (http://www.middevonstar.co.uk/news/devon_news/8885350.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurr y_for_third_time/)

It takes all sorts....

Very considerate of the police to handcuff his wrists in front of his body.

MaryPoppins
7th March 2011, 14:25
Very considerate of the police to handcuff his wrists in front of his body.

Just looked at link for the first time.

That's an interesting haircut. I like the centre parting in particular.

Mich the Tester
7th March 2011, 14:38
I suggest someone with an Urban Dictionary account provides an appropriate definition for the practise of 'David Truscotting'.

Old Greg
7th March 2011, 14:51
I suggest someone with an Urban Dictionary account provides an appropriate definition for the practise of 'David Truscotting'.
Have submitted to editors via the cuk urbandictionary project account. Will update when it appears in the dictionary.

TimberWolf
7th March 2011, 16:37
Can't help but feel that these stories share a common denominator, to the tune of that the perpetrators are male.

Although there is this (http://slumz.boxden.com/f5/mar-27-woman-caught-masturbating-fraternity-house-883702/) one:


Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

Now that's commitment.

MaryPoppins
7th March 2011, 16:39
Can't help but feel that these stories share a common denominator, to the tune of that the perpetrators are male.

Although there is this (http://slumz.boxden.com/f5/mar-27-woman-caught-masturbating-fraternity-house-883702/) one:



Now that's commitment.

"Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said."


:laugh

Churchill
7th March 2011, 16:43
"Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said."


:laugh

I like the way it took them half an hour to ask her to leave. :laugh

EternalOptimist
7th March 2011, 16:44
Can't help but feel that these stories share a common denominator, to the tune of that the perpetrators are male.

Although there is this (http://slumz.boxden.com/f5/mar-27-woman-caught-masturbating-fraternity-house-883702/) one:



Now that's commitment.

see , thats the difference between men and women.

with women, it costs a fraternity a couple of couches, with blokes, it costs a farmer a couple of cow turds


blokes are so much more 'masturbation-friendly'



:rolleyes:

xoggoth
7th March 2011, 17:48
Why throw away the couch? Improved it in my view.

OwlHoot
7th March 2011, 17:53
"Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said."

:laugh

What a bunch of couchwetters! :mad