God, this must be one of the most embarrassing days of my short life.
There is a film company making a sit-com right outside where I work. Its caused a real problem for my parking, but I got my own back by joining the food queue for beef in black bean sauce yesterday.
Anyways, at about 9 this am, I gets a twinge in my belly. Panic. I cant use the bogs in clientco, because its a small office, and there is no place to hide.
So I makes an excuse about my car, blah blah, parking, and headed off across the road. they MUST have temporary actors bogs.
AHAH. I was right. just off from the film units parking, on the croquet green, was a portable bog.
So I dived in, keks down, jeez h chr1st, what an explosion. It looked like that pile of triceratops dung in jurassic park. So I started to toggle the handle, and all this blue liquid came out, and my dollop got washed down. But I could tell by the sound, it didnt drop far.
Please God, let this portable bog be connected up to a septic tank. please please please.
So I got dressed, and left , trying to look inconspicuous. had a quick shufty
there on the grass, next to the path, was my steaming pile, with a little flag of bog roll waving in the wind.
but thats not the embarrassing bit. because I got away with that. noone saw me
at 11:30, I got another twinge.
This time I headed for the pub. but the windows were all covered with black masking. The door was covered in black blankets and there were lights pointing in. pub closed. I could tell that I had a minute at the most.
Round to the next pub - opens at 12.
So I headed for the car park, hid behind a van, and sh@t for britain.
I had to walk round to my car, covered in sh1te, drive home, clothes in the washing machine, scrub my boots, and me in the shower.
luckily, I can tell youse lot, because your my friends
There is a film company making a sit-com right outside where I work. Its caused a real problem for my parking, but I got my own back by joining the food queue for beef in black bean sauce yesterday.
Anyways, at about 9 this am, I gets a twinge in my belly. Panic. I cant use the bogs in clientco, because its a small office, and there is no place to hide.
So I makes an excuse about my car, blah blah, parking, and headed off across the road. they MUST have temporary actors bogs.
AHAH. I was right. just off from the film units parking, on the croquet green, was a portable bog.
So I dived in, keks down, jeez h chr1st, what an explosion. It looked like that pile of triceratops dung in jurassic park. So I started to toggle the handle, and all this blue liquid came out, and my dollop got washed down. But I could tell by the sound, it didnt drop far.
Please God, let this portable bog be connected up to a septic tank. please please please.
So I got dressed, and left , trying to look inconspicuous. had a quick shufty
there on the grass, next to the path, was my steaming pile, with a little flag of bog roll waving in the wind.
but thats not the embarrassing bit. because I got away with that. noone saw me
at 11:30, I got another twinge.
This time I headed for the pub. but the windows were all covered with black masking. The door was covered in black blankets and there were lights pointing in. pub closed. I could tell that I had a minute at the most.
Round to the next pub - opens at 12.
So I headed for the car park, hid behind a van, and sh@t for britain.
I had to walk round to my car, covered in sh1te, drive home, clothes in the washing machine, scrub my boots, and me in the shower.
luckily, I can tell youse lot, because your my friends
)
you're
It's not nice.
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