Helpful or Creepy

[Spacecadet]

When does being helpful cross the line in to being creepy?
I was on the verge of offering some help today when my internal WTF alarm went off and I decided to keep the offer to myself. Reason being that it could be percieved as too much help to someone I hardly know

[Cliphead]

When does being helpful cross the line in to being creepy?
I was on the verge of offering some help today when my internal WTF alarm went off and I decided to keep the offer to myself. Reason being that it could be percieved as too much help to someone I hardly know

More info needed.

[EternalOptimist]

When does being helpful cross the line in to being creepy?
I was on the verge of offering some help today when my internal WTF alarm went off and I decided to keep the offer to myself. Reason being that it could be percieved as too much help to someone I hardly know

I was walking back home yesterday, a bird in front was struggling with heavy bags. I really wanted to offer to help..

sometimes I cross the road if I am walking behind a bird when it's dark. They must be terrified
(I know that I am 100% wary, and I am a large bloke)

[Jeff Maginty]

..

[Cliphead]

This is an interesting question. There is a common social trap that a lot of people have fallen into at some point in their lives (myself included). That is, to see someone who is suffering or not performing effectively in some area of life (lets say, someone who has a problem), and to feel a compulsion to try to help them by offering advice.

The problems with this are:

1) The very act of giving someone advice carries with it the presupposition that the recipient somehow "needs help" (and is therefore not capable on their own). This immediately puts the giver of advice "one-up" on the recipient.

2) The giver of advice is probably not qualified to give the advice.

3) The giver of advice may not be aware of all of the relevant circumstances and background.

4) Even if the advice given is good, the recipient's ego may block it. This is why gurus often talk in metaphors (consider the Bible with its parables).

5) Whilst the giver of advice may think they are just doing a good turn, it is quite possible that they have a sub-conscious motivation that is more about making themself feel good than about genuinely wanting to help someone.

I think the scenario I describe here could be categorised under the very generic & wooly description of "co-dependancy".

Have a drink and chill dude, start talking pish. Oh, wait...

[Spacecadet]

More info needed.

Someone at work (who happens to be female) has an ongoing problem with her home internet connection meaning she's having to stay late at the office to finish work when she could be at home. I had a mifi dongle in my bag which I haven't used in ages and wouldn't miss if she borrowed it for a couple of weeks and it wouldn't cost me anything in data charges either (as long as she stayed in the limit).

As this was the second time I've ever spoken to her, I decided to avoid any awkwardness about possible motives and not offer it.

[Jeff Maginty]

..

[Robinho]

Someone at work (who happens to be female) has an ongoing problem with her home internet connection meaning she's having to stay late at the office to finish work when she could be at home. I had a mifi dongle in my bag which I haven't used in ages and wouldn't miss if she borrowed it for a couple of weeks and it wouldn't cost me anything in data charges either (as long as she stayed in the limit).

As this was the second time I've ever spoken to her, I decided to avoid any awkwardness about possible motives and not offer it.

Creepy i'd say.

Maybe recommends she buys one herself.

Edit: unless you're trying to harvest her ovaries, in which case, knock yourself out.

[Spacecadet]

Creepy i'd say.

Maybe recommends she buys one herself.

Thanks, there was no need to re-login though!

[doodab]

Someone at work (who happens to be female) has an ongoing problem with her home internet connection meaning she's having to stay late at the office to finish work when she could be at home. I had a mifi dongle in my bag which I haven't used in ages and wouldn't miss if she borrowed it for a couple of weeks and it wouldn't cost me anything in data charges either (as long as she stayed in the limit).

As this was the second time I've ever spoken to her, I decided to avoid any awkwardness about possible motives and not offer it.

"Do you want a go on my dongle I haven't used it for ages" is probably not something you should be saying to ladies you barely know.