Add your brexit jokes here Add your brexit jokes here - Page 69
Page 69 of 80 FirstFirst ... 1959676869707179 ... LastLast
Posts 681 to 690 of 798
  1. #681

    Nice But Dim

    DaveB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    20,001

    Default

    Boris Johnson tries to unhappen Saturday with sociopathic unreasoning | John Crace | Politics | The Guardian

    One common definition of insanity is repeating the same mistake and expecting a different result. While Boris Johnson has yet to be clinically certified as insane, it’s also true that no one has yet gone out on a limb and certified him as sane. He falls into a murky sociopathic limbo of reasoned unreasoning. The rest of us are just in purgatory.

    In Bozzaworld, Saturday’s vote on his Brexit deal never happened. Parliament didn’t sit, the Letwin amendment didn’t pass, the letter he sent to the EU asking for an extension didn’t get sent, and Spurs cruised to a comfortable 4-0 win against Watford. Crisis averted all round. So for Boris Johnson it seemed entirely plausible to unhappen the thing that definitely didn’t happen, even if it did happen.

    Little more than 48 hours after having his big day out spoiled by a bunch of girly swots, who wanted time to go through dreary stuff such as legal text and impact assessments, the prime minister tried to bring back a meaningful vote on his deal so that he could then unsend the letter that he didn’t send. Though if he had sent it, which he definitely hadn’t, he would definitely have flicked V signs at it. Take that EU. And then he could undie himself from the ditch he had said he would die in if the UK didn’t leave the EU by 31 October, by bringing no deal back into play.

    Entirely predictably, John Bercow chose to see things definitely. He distinctly remembered the details of Johnson’s “Lost Weekend” and wasn’t planning on wasting parliament’s time by letting the government go through the motions all over again. Just as predictably, the Speaker took a huge amount of pleasure in telling the government it was taking the piss and devoted the best part of 40 minutes to his own self-congratulation. Even when he’s doing the right thing by sticking up for parliament, his amour propre doesn’t leave much room for anyone else’s amour. Bercow is going to really miss himself when he’s gone.

    “I have considered both the substance and the circumstances of the request,” Bercow said gleefully. And on both counts the government had failed abjectly to meet the necessary criteria.

    Cue howls of rage from the Tory benches via interminable points of order. It was almost as though the government had only wasted everyone’s time in order to feed a narrative of the people versus parliament. Peter Bone got the ball rolling by suggesting there had been substantive changes. The Letwin amendment had only been tabled because no one had trusted the prime minister to abide by the law and send the extension letter. So now that the Incredible Sulk had gaslighted the nation by appearing to be trustworthy, surely all bets on Saturday’s debate should be off? We should be celebrating the fact that we have a man in Boris who can’t even be trusted to be reliably untrustworthy.

    Man of the people Sir Bernard Jenkin – that elevation to the Lords is proving annoyingly elusive – just wanted to have a sulk of his own. The Speaker had it in for Brexiters, he insisted. A fair Speaker would have been unfair by allowing the government to break any rules in pursuit of a glorious future where everything was a bit more authentically British and tulip.

    David TC Davies also cried bias. But as he is right up there with Chris Grayling as one of the dimmest people in parliament – even the sheep in his Welsh constituency have a higher IQ – not even his fellow Tories paid attention.

    Next up was Stephen Barclay, to answer an urgent question from Jeremy Corbyn. The last week has not been kind to the Brexit secretary as it has given him endless opportunities to show off his mediocrity. Earlier in the day, he had committed a scientific faux pas by telling a Lords committee that frictionless trade would contain some friction – he still hasn’t quite grasped the principle that customs declarations forms can’t be filled in with friction-free pencils – and now he was forced to deputise for the prime minister.

    Barclay ended by saying there was no need for any economic impact assessments because you couldn’t put a price on people’s democratic right to lose their jobs. Just so long as it didn’t interfere with his democratic right to keep his job by not telling the truth. Not for the first time, we were several miles the other side of the Brexit looking glass. Long live the Confederacy of Dunces.
    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

  2. #682

    Respect my authoritah!

    NotAllThere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Far away from HMRC
    Posts
    21,210

    Default



    If you'd just agree to hold your meetings in here, you'd have PLENTY of time to figure things out before the deadline.
    Boomers tend to believe in “freedom of speech”, which is a fascist concept used to spread hateful ideas.Given that hate speech is not possible without free speech, any defence of free speech is a form of hate speech. - Titania McGrath

  3. #683

    Super poster

    Zigenare's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    4,189

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DaveB View Post
    Boris Johnson tries to unhappen Saturday with sociopathic unreasoning | John Crace | Politics | The Guardian
    I'd be interested to read his assessment of Jeremy Corbyn.
    Quote Originally Posted by Old Greg
    Given that you refuse to work for Jews, because you believe that they are only out for themselves and that they see gentiles as just there to be used, WGAS what you think.
    You do me old chum, obviously

    Quote Originally Posted by Old Greg View Post
    Churchy says that May Day is a Zionist Occupation Government conspiracy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Old Greg
    Only it is somewhat suspicious that this unsubstantiated claim has been made against the object of Alt-Right antisemitic conspiracy lies.

  4. #684

    Respect my authoritah!

    NotAllThere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Far away from HMRC
    Posts
    21,210

    Default

    Bercow is going to really miss himself when he’s gone.
    Boomers tend to believe in “freedom of speech”, which is a fascist concept used to spread hateful ideas.Given that hate speech is not possible without free speech, any defence of free speech is a form of hate speech. - Titania McGrath

  5. #685

    Nice But Dim

    DaveB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    20,001

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zigenare View Post
    I'd be interested to read his assessment of Jeremy Corbyn.
    Knock yourself out
    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

  6. #686

    My post count is Majestic

    vetran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Come Friendly Bombs
    Posts
    31,492

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NotAllThere View Post


    If you'd just agree to hold your meetings in here, you'd have PLENTY of time to figure things out before the deadline.

    what we all feared NAT is in the closet..
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  7. #687

    Respect my authoritah!

    NotAllThere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Far away from HMRC
    Posts
    21,210

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by vetran View Post
    what we all feared NAT is in the closet..
    Are you homophobic then?

    Boomers tend to believe in “freedom of speech”, which is a fascist concept used to spread hateful ideas.Given that hate speech is not possible without free speech, any defence of free speech is a form of hate speech. - Titania McGrath

  8. #688

    More time posting than coding


    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    320

    Default Boris is the best contractor ever

    I've never known any contractor get as many extensions as Boris. Looks like another one is on the cards...

    EU eyes Brexit flextension (again) - BBC News
    Last edited by edison; 23rd October 2019 at 08:23.

  9. #689

    Respect my authoritah!

    NotAllThere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Far away from HMRC
    Posts
    21,210

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by edison View Post
    I've never known any contractor get as many extensions as Boris.
    Does he get a rate increase each time?
    Boomers tend to believe in “freedom of speech”, which is a fascist concept used to spread hateful ideas.Given that hate speech is not possible without free speech, any defence of free speech is a form of hate speech. - Titania McGrath

  10. #690

    Super poster

    meridian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    4,387

    Default


Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •