UK to EU: "So, we have voted to leave"
EU to UK: "That's a shame, OK what's your proposals?"
UK to EU: "We don't have any, we are leaving."
EU to UK: "Yes, but what about the Good Friday Agreement and the Northern Irish border?"
UK to EU: "Eh?"
EU to UK: "It's an international treaty you signed, remember? Look, tell you what why doesn't NI stay in the Customs Union, job done."
UK to EU: "NEVER! You are not splitting the UK up."
EU to UK: "OK what do you propose?"
UK to EU: "Why are you being intransigent?"
EU to UK: "What? OK look, we need to sort this and you haven’t proposed anything, what about the whole of the UK staying in the Customs Union?"
UK to EU: "NEVER!
EU to UK: "FFS what then? This is your mess, tell us what you actually want."
UK to EU: "Why are you being intransigent?"
EU to UK: "Will you please just tell us what you want."
UK to EU: "OK if you're going to be like that, we want a backstop added to the Withdrawal Agreement.
EU to UK: "Finally, yes OK, thats fine, but remember this is your idea, shall we sign the Withdrawal Agreement off? Once we have done this we cannot reopen it in the time left."
UK to EU: "Yes, sign it off."
EU to UK: "Done."
UK to EU: "Ummm we couldn’t get it through parliament so we need to reopen the withdrawal agreement and change the backstop."
EU to UK: "We said we wouldn’t do that, but OK we might be able to do something, we are listening, what do you want to change it to?"
UK to EU: "Alternative arrangements."
EU to UK: "What?"
UK to EU: "Alternative arrangements."
EU to UK: "What the actual **** is that?"
UK to EU: "Don't know, just something different."
EU to UK: "Look, the backstop was your idea, we reluctantly agreed, now you don't want it anymore and instead want it changed to something that doesn’t exist."
UK to EU: "Why are you being so intransigent?"
EU to UK: "It literally does not exist, what don't you understand about that?"
UK to EU: "Stop bullying us. OK, how about having a backstop that isn’t a backstop?"
EU to UK: "Oh **** the **** off you absolute idiots!"
Theresa May to UK general public: "The EU are being intransigent. This is not our fault, its all theirs."
EU to UK: "That's a shame, OK what's your proposals?"
UK to EU: "We don't have any, we are leaving."
EU to UK: "Yes, but what about the Good Friday Agreement and the Northern Irish border?"
UK to EU: "Eh?"
EU to UK: "It's an international treaty you signed, remember? Look, tell you what why doesn't NI stay in the Customs Union, job done."
UK to EU: "NEVER! You are not splitting the UK up."
EU to UK: "OK what do you propose?"
UK to EU: "Why are you being intransigent?"
EU to UK: "What? OK look, we need to sort this and you haven’t proposed anything, what about the whole of the UK staying in the Customs Union?"
UK to EU: "NEVER!
EU to UK: "FFS what then? This is your mess, tell us what you actually want."
UK to EU: "Why are you being intransigent?"
EU to UK: "Will you please just tell us what you want."
UK to EU: "OK if you're going to be like that, we want a backstop added to the Withdrawal Agreement.
EU to UK: "Finally, yes OK, thats fine, but remember this is your idea, shall we sign the Withdrawal Agreement off? Once we have done this we cannot reopen it in the time left."
UK to EU: "Yes, sign it off."
EU to UK: "Done."
UK to EU: "Ummm we couldn’t get it through parliament so we need to reopen the withdrawal agreement and change the backstop."
EU to UK: "We said we wouldn’t do that, but OK we might be able to do something, we are listening, what do you want to change it to?"
UK to EU: "Alternative arrangements."
EU to UK: "What?"
UK to EU: "Alternative arrangements."
EU to UK: "What the actual **** is that?"
UK to EU: "Don't know, just something different."
EU to UK: "Look, the backstop was your idea, we reluctantly agreed, now you don't want it anymore and instead want it changed to something that doesn’t exist."
UK to EU: "Why are you being so intransigent?"
EU to UK: "It literally does not exist, what don't you understand about that?"
UK to EU: "Stop bullying us. OK, how about having a backstop that isn’t a backstop?"
EU to UK: "Oh **** the **** off you absolute idiots!"
Theresa May to UK general public: "The EU are being intransigent. This is not our fault, its all theirs."
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