Tomorrow I shall come right out with it.
I've decided to ask Maria to marry me.
I have prepared a speech, which is traditional, and I thought I'd run it past my fellow contractors.
"Dear Maria,
There comes a time in every man's life when a pot noodle and a wink can no longer satisfy his carnal urge, his primal craving, his loin-throbbing desire.
I've lost count of the times I have thought of you as I lay in my bed, as I furiously self-abused myself whilst imagining you lay beside me.
I was just wondering if we could make this an "official" arrangement ?
I feel I have a lot of experience to offer you, and I think we would make a great couple, just like Bonnie and Clyde, but without the guns, Amercian accents and bank robberies, obviously.
Even if your parents don't agree, we can elope and live on a island somewhere. That would be really exciting, don't you think ?
So please Maria, marry me, and we can do great stuff."
So, what do you folks think ? I dropped the bit about the yaks, and the knitting needles of course, since I don't want to scare her right from the start.
If it all looks good, then I'll hit her with it tomorrow.
I've decided to ask Maria to marry me.
I have prepared a speech, which is traditional, and I thought I'd run it past my fellow contractors.
"Dear Maria,
There comes a time in every man's life when a pot noodle and a wink can no longer satisfy his carnal urge, his primal craving, his loin-throbbing desire.
I've lost count of the times I have thought of you as I lay in my bed, as I furiously self-abused myself whilst imagining you lay beside me.
I was just wondering if we could make this an "official" arrangement ?
I feel I have a lot of experience to offer you, and I think we would make a great couple, just like Bonnie and Clyde, but without the guns, Amercian accents and bank robberies, obviously.
Even if your parents don't agree, we can elope and live on a island somewhere. That would be really exciting, don't you think ?
So please Maria, marry me, and we can do great stuff."
So, what do you folks think ? I dropped the bit about the yaks, and the knitting needles of course, since I don't want to scare her right from the start.
If it all looks good, then I'll hit her with it tomorrow.
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