Bird craps and leaves! Bird craps and leaves!
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    Default Bird craps and leaves!

    Inspired by Pondlifes' Wilmslow-esque luggage thread.

    Yesterday I was ironing my shirt, and I'd nearly finished, you know, I'd done the back, the two front panels, the shoulder panel and one of the sleeves, when I was just starting on the second sleeve when I noticed it had bird crap on it in several places from where it'd been drying on the line. I had to start ironing another shirt from scratch. This meant that I was 12 minutes behind schedule so I didn't have time to make a sandwich (or a roll) for lunch. I thought I'd just buy one from the sandwich van that comes around, but I was called into a project conference call and missed the van. So at lunchtime I drove to the garage down the road, it's a Texaco and their 4 star is 97.9p/ltr (which is disgraceful since Tesco is now 94.9p/ltr). All their sandwiches were white bread , but I chose a 'Cajun Chicken' one and went back to work. When I opened it I found that in with the not-very-cajuny-at-all chicken, they had stuffed it full of those red lettuce leaves, which, as Stephen Fry pointed out in his Alan Bennett monologue, is as bitter as Skipton wind. So my lunchtime was spent picking all the leaves out of my sandwich.

    The moral of this sad tale is; check your shirts before ironing them.

    HTH

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    Quote Originally Posted by wobbegong View Post
    Icheck your shirts before ironing them.

    HTH
    Very wise.
    ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

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    Quote Originally Posted by wobbegong View Post
    Inspired by Pondlifes' Wilmslow-esque luggage thread.

    Yesterday I was ironing my shirt, and I'd nearly finished, you know, I'd done the back, the two front panels, the shoulder panel and one of the sleeves, when I was just starting on the second sleeve when I noticed it had bird crap on it in several places from where it'd been drying on the line. I had to start ironing another shirt from scratch. This meant that I was 12 minutes behind schedule so I didn't have time to make a sandwich (or a roll) for lunch. I thought I'd just buy one from the sandwich van that comes around, but I was called into a project conference call and missed the van. So at lunchtime I drove to the garage down the road, it's a Texaco and their 4 star is 97.9p/ltr (which is disgraceful since Tesco is now 94.9p/ltr). All their sandwiches were white bread , but I chose a 'Cajun Chicken' one and went back to work. When I opened it I found that in with the not-very-cajuny-at-all chicken, they had stuffed it full of those red lettuce leaves, which, as Stephen Fry pointed out in his Alan Bennett monologue, is as bitter as Skipton wind. So my lunchtime was spent picking all the leaves out of my sandwich.

    The moral of this sad tale is; check your shirts before ironing them.

    HTH
    buy polyester shirts so you don't have to iron them.

    Wilmslow
    ǝןqqıʍ

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    or use the tumble - the birds can't get in there so easily.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by wobbegong View Post
    So at lunchtime I drove to the garage down the road, it's a Texaco and their 4 star is 97.9p/ltr
    Who the hell stocks 4 Start these days?!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheVoice View Post
    Who the hell stocks 4 Start these days?!!
    Ssshh! Keep up at the back, I'm pretending to be Wilmslow!!


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    Top sandwich tip: Lay the expensive part of the sandwich (the Cajun chicken filler) along the main diagonal of a slice - do not under any circumstances bother putting filler anywhere else on the bread. Butter should be scraped on and, crucially, then scraped off. Next, cut the slice along its main diagonal and fold and have the main diagonal show through the clear plastic covering of the packaging. Voila, you now have a tempting looking sandwich containing approximately 3 atoms of expensive Cajun chicken that is actually composed mostly cheap white bread, which itself is mostly made of cheap air and water. Boomed.

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    Top shirt tip: Iron them more than 10 minutes before you are due to wear them !!

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    Pay someone else to do the ironing
    Just call me Matron - Too many handbags

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyberman View Post
    Top shirt tip: Iron them more than 10 minutes before you are due to wear them !!
    Don't bother ironing 5 at a time. A whole week is too far ahead to plan.

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