Do women ever stop spending?

[psychocandy]

Why is she even involved in any financial decisions? When it comes to finances, it is always a case of too many cooks ...

When it comes to finances, only one partner should handle them. For my parents, when I was younger, my mother had a far better grasp on finances, so allocated funds accordingly, even though my father drunk away a lot of money ....

I handle all the finances of combined incomes in my household, arrange insurance, pay bills, etc etc. It gets too messy having multiple people involved.

If you have a better head for figures or just have a more sensible streak then put your foot down with her ...

Yeh. Agreed. And currently I do it all.....

However, I dont want it to be 'my' money that I have control over. All I ask is a little bit of consideration/interest in our financial position before deciding we need a new kitchen.

Bugger all wrong with kitchen BTW.

[psychocandy]

I believe that when a woman asks for a new kitchen that is actually a request for a new house.

As for spending every penny - what's her mom like? My MiL was a big spender and actually would return food to buy the things she wanted! These are the signals you should have looked at sooner.

I have hidden my true income from my wife for years...she thinks I'm on 15K a year.

Not that helps you now.

Funnily enough, MIL is a nightmare for money. Her husband died 10 years and left a half decent sum (not a huge amount but a bit) which they'd been saving for retirement.

Thats all gone now. Spent on new bathrooms (5K), decorating, way over the top xmas presents for her kids. Completely frittered away and wasted.

Maybe I'm being a bit naive but Im not sure I like this lying to your Mrs thing though. But I can see that sometimes needs must..... :-)

[psychocandy]

10 grand on wallpaper, that is what I had to feggin put up with.

My drum kit was 3 grand and that was the most expensive thing I will ever wish or want to buy, she gets about 3 walls for that.

**** me. £10K. Is it gold embossed or something?

[psychocandy]

Compulsive spending could be a sign of low self esteem.

Getting you to buy something expensive a) makes her feel good (briefly) because she's got something nice b) gives an indication that you love / value her. So the solution is to make sure she feels loved and valued through your (inexpensive) thought and actions - Do you thank her if she cooks you a nice dinner? Do you spontaneously buy her flowers? Do you remember to tell her how much you love her (and not just when you want a legover)? Do an activity together - dancing, ice-skating, or even just weekend walks - make sure she knows you really enjoy her company.

If the kitchen does need doing, look at less expensive ways - new cupboard doors and worktops for a facelift.

Bitching about her on an internet forum is probably a reflection of the respect for her that comes across in your everyday lives. Make time for her - you'll both benefit.

Did this site just merge with Mumsnet ??????? LOL.

To be fair, it is a semi-serious thread only. My Mrs aint all that bad to be honest. But I'm hardly going to ask some of the people on here for serious advice, am I?